Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

It has come to my attention that you have what I want. Now I'm not gonna lie, you bring presents to good kids and I haven't been very good. We both know that. Although what you might not know, is I have seven of your precious elves hostage. You'll bring me an iPhone 4S along with a helicopter and dinosaur that can shoot lasers out of his eyes. Now unless you want your elves to be sent back in even smaller pieces, you'll heed to my demands.

P.S. They're are indeed elves, not dwarves.

Regular Show

No really, it's called Regular Show! It's a creative cartoon featuring a blue jay and raccoon named Mordecai and Rigby respectively. The show's plot revolves around Mordecai and Rigby working for a short-tempered gumball-machine named Benson. The things that make me love this show are the creative plots and interesting characters. Every show starts off with a seemingly normal story, but as the show goes on, more odd things happen. But at the end of the day, everything goes back to normal while Mordecai and Rigby get multiple threats of getting fired. The show also sneaks in many adult-oriented jokes that fly right over the kid's heads which is awesome to bring in a large array of viewers.

The Worst Pain Ever...

The most pain I've ever been in has probably been when I broke both of my arms. I was only 4 but I still remember the excruciating pain I felt. It all started one morning before school. My older brother Westin and I had both watched Tarzan the night before so we had a pretty good idea of how to swing from trees. While waiting for our mom to get ready for school(you know how mundane it can be waiting for a woman to get primed for the outside world,) Westin decided to vault off our mom's car while holding onto a branch and descending to safety. Not about to be one-uped, I did the exact same thing. Off course, being so little, I misjudged the trajectory when I leapt off of the car. Missing the branch, I hit the ground hard. A burning sensation went through my head and I wailed. Conveniently, we didn't go school nor daycare that day so my mom brought me to the emergency room and we got these awesome red casts on both my arms.

The Best Thing Since...

Sliced Bread! We love it, but do we take it for granted? Convenient strips of bread ready whenever to make a delicious sandwich. From toasted eats to unique treats, sliced bread is ready for any situation. Sliced bread is everywhere. In the kitchen, at sandwich restaurants, and even at fancy parties!

50's for me.

If it were up to me, I would go back to the 50's. I could buy soda for pocket change along with other goodies. Also I might get to see Rosa Parks refusing her seat to the white man. Heck, maybe I could be on the bus to give some comical commentary on the whole situation.

A Whale of an Experience.

"Why were y'all so far out there? That was incredible!"

"Well we were trying to get a good wave. What we thought was the perfect wave turned out to be a whale though!"What happened out there, and what was going through your mind as those magnificent creatures came by you?"

There were apparently lots of krill out there which is the whale's main source of food. We were a little scared when the whale got closer and closer to us."Were you worried that you would be swallowed? Tell me who was with you out there?"

Me and my friends, Walker and Tyler, were all scared that the whale might mistake us for food, but then we realized that we were much bigger than what he was used to eating!

Stop, Hero Time!

On a day pretty much like any other day, Walker Bartlett was ordering quesadillas from Taco Bell. While I knew he was hungry, I didn't know he was THAT hungry. Turns out he was thrown in jail for public indecency. How anyone could do that is still a mystery to me. Later on, he calls me with his one call to tell me he was framed.

Not waiting for the details, I quickly reached for my ridiculous hero get-up. Little did Walker know(I'm not talking in third person by the way), I was a super hero! They call me "The Hammer." I have the power to control time. Breaking Walker out was easy, pause, pants, play. All the security guards were falling over themselves.

Now Walker had told me the gruesome facts of the crime which are too terrible for this blog. But I knew exactly who it was. It was my arch nemesis, Gui-hoo-alsocontrols-tyme! His super powers were similar to mine, but he used his powers for evil. I hunted him down until I arrived at the scene of the crime. My nemesis and I exchanged spirited 50's comic banter, and then fought to the death matrix style. Of course I won. Easily. Then the mayor gave me a giant key to the city, Walker's name was cleared, and I swept a cliche blonde girl off her feet.